I went to the Utah State Fair over the weekend, not because I wanted to pay money to see cows carved out of butter, or see the world's largest pig for $1, or even to buy a casket. (There seriously was a guy selling coffins with the sign that read something to the effect of "The days of procrastinating are over. Plan your funeral today" among the fresh fudge vender and some kind of laser hair-removal place.
Nope, as exciting as all that is, I paid $5 to park my car, $24 for my brother Troy and my wife Lisa and I to enter the fair, and then $5 to try the most bizarre culinary delight...FRIED COCA COLA. That's right. Fried Coke. For $5.
They take coke syrup and make a batter out of it, and then it is deep fried in some scary looking grease. They take a paper cup and pour coca-cola syrup in the bottom, and then add your fried delicacy with whipped cream on top along with a cherry.
The top coke nuggets didn't have any syrup and were really bland and kind of soft and chewy.
The middle coke nuggets had some syrup on them and were surprisingly tasty.
The bottom coke nuggets had absorbed three times their weight in syrup from the bottom of the cup and had become bloated, and distorted kind of like Oprah. JUST KIDDING. It was way worse than Oprah. More like Rosie O'Donnell.
A bottle of water and three Immodium AD later, I was ready to go to the Utah-UCLA game at Rice Eccles Stadium. I was ok on Saturday, but that Immodium simply delayed the inevitable until Sunday morning. When you eat fried Coke Nuggets, you can run, but you can't hide.
Anyway, I can add Fried Coke to my list of foods I never thought I would eat. A giant list that includes the fried Twinkie I had at the New Years Eve party at the Fiesta Bowl in Arizona a few years back when Utah busted the BCS. Coke nuggets are better than fried twinkie, but not by a lot.
The day got even better though, because we found a present for my Dad and Troy and I rode the Giant Yellow Slide! We debated for about 1 second if we should pretend to be with the two young girls in front of us....and then decided to embrace it. Troy told the ticket taker we were re-living our childhood and he shook his head and laughed at us. At the top, after almost falling and breaking my neck on the stairs, Troy and I decided we should really re-live the childhood and race. I killed him. He had some snarky remark about me having more momentum due to weight, but I think he's jealous of my world record time. I almost came off the slide and bad on several bumps.
As we left about 90 minutes after arriving, Lisa said she could go another 20-30 years without going to the fair again. I guess that means Troy won't get his rematch.